Unofficial
THE LEGEND
An unofficial chronicle · Collected from people who swear they were there
None of what follows is confirmed. Some of it Max Darkosadze first heard about himself, years after it supposedly happened.
Some of these are exaggerated. I am not going to tell you which.
Batoni Maksi
Mountain flying, 2021
Witnesses in the valley maintain that the cloud moved first. Batoni Maksi maintains that he turned back early, which is what he teaches, and that clouds do not apologise. The witnesses are not persuaded.
Chess
He walked past the board on the way to the theatre, said one word, and kept walking. The player he said it to resigned eleven moves later and has never explained why.
Testimony
Asked to account for an unusually smooth induction, the anaesthetist wrote in the record that no additional agent had been required: the patient had fallen asleep out of sheer respect.
The workshop
He had the chisel raised when, by his own account, the stone made its preference known. He put the chisel down and started again. The bust took four months longer and is the only one he has refused to give away.
Tbilisi
Three weeks after being carried down the ladder, the cat was found sitting outside a building it had no reason to know, waiting. It is said to have looked mildly annoyed about the wait.
Briefing room
Students time it. The record stands at four seconds of silence before an answer, after which the student in question changed their own answer twice, unprompted, and arrived at the right one.
Kakheti
The horse has a documented objection to being saddled by anyone else, which the owner describes as a personality flaw and Max Darkosadze describes as good judgement.
The university
A lecture once ran nine minutes over. Rather than ask him to finish on time, the department moved the following class. The timetable has never been moved back.
A wedding
The best man lost his speech. Batoni Maksi is said to have handed him a napkin with four words on it. Guests report the speech was better than the original, and considerably shorter.
The airline
A captain on a scheduled route was observed briefing his crew in a sequence not found in any manual. Asked about it, he named his first instructor and declined to discuss the matter further.
The engraver
The plaque reads DISCIPLINE CREATES FREEDOM. The engraver got it right at the first attempt, which the engraver says has not happened before or since.
Unverifiable
There is a twelfth story. Everyone who tells it tells it differently, and he answers all of them the same way: by asking whether you have eaten.
Everything else on this site is meant seriously. This page is not.